Truth be told sometimes I really suck at this whole self-care thing! When I get into one of these ruts you will find me curled up in a ball on my bathroom floor sobbing because I have let all the energy run out of me and into the little people in my house. I have kept none for myself. I have forgotten the cardinal rule of putting on my oxygen mask first. Everyone has there own unique threshold of what this looks like for them and for each of us there are seasons of life where we need more self love, alone time and tenderness.
Days filled with driving the man child to....insert sport of the season here, doing my stay at home day job, working on this my true love and passion, sharing my life with you all and helping to inspire greatness in myself and you, nursing around the clock, cooking three home cooked meals, playing race cars over and over again with the three year old and solving or surviving some dramatic crisis from the 8 year old can leave me feeling so sensory over stimulated and alone. Alone in a household of amazing faces and personalities because I am disconnected from my own needs and myself. These days happen less and less but they still happen.
I of course have created a rhythm in our life and routines for me to help recognize and prevent this from happening. I have figured out what I need in order to prevent these sob fests from happening and yet sometimes life catches me…I stop doing what works, excuses flow, a rut settles in and I find myself back on that bathroom floor. In these moments I think who in the world do I think I am to think that I can advise people for a living on how to take care of themselves when I can’t even put myself on my own to do list? The fraud sirens begin to BLARE in my head and this can and still sometimes does lead me further down the hole of despair.
I am grateful that these ruts come less and less and I am able to use my tools to get out of them quicker and quicker. What I want to name here is that THEY HAPPEN….S?%T happens….we ALL fall…we are NOT alone….we are ALL VALUABLE…we are all LOVED and LOVE and it is OKAY to keep some of that love in fact a great deal of that love for yourself. It is GREAT to be selfish, to have boundaries! The more boundaries you have the more energy you will have to give to others and in the end everyone wins. I PROMISE!!!!