I have been judging my expression of thoughts and feelings about what has been happening in America lately. I don't want to offend, I don't want to get it wrong, I don't want to be attacked in the cyber world for my expression. What I know about life and relationships is they are very superficial when we speak out of a fear of offending , not rocking the boat. It's dangerous. I am a deep person, I get things wrong but I am not here on this Earth to be silent.
Fear of speaking our needs of expressing ourselves, just to make sure all is well....surface level...causes crumbles and cracks as the substance disappears.
This is what I see is happening in America today. We have lived at surface level for far to long. We have let rules and law dictate how we are to be with one another. We have focused on words and laws to heal. P.C words that we can and can't say, laws that aim to help make everything more equal but we haven't gone deep.
We haven't been courageous and talked about what FEELINGS those words cause and where they come from. How people FEEL and EXPERIENCE trauma based on decades and centuries of hate and power. How the trauma gene is carried forward generation after generation AND how it can be changed when it is expressed and integrated. We want it to be different so we act different but the story isn't told, it isn't addressed. It sits beneath the surface. Don't believe me look at the damn text books children still read about history. We are ashamed and we continue to be a divided and wounded nation.
As a collective we are too afraid to be vulnerable to own the shit, to own the past and how epically horrible it was. What the country was founded on wasn't freedom; it was genocide and slavery. We think, "well it wasn't me, why am I to blame for something that white people did ages ago?". We aren't here to blame people but we also aren't here to ignore the effects of it on all of us in this NOW.
People we have to own it as part of the collective history, to learn from it so that we can heal, all of us. The depths are scary, they are dark, they are vulnerable and as a collective we don't do that. We have to have courageous and uncomfortable conversations. To hear how the past has affected people, to hear their current hurt. This is what will get us through. Showing up for a march, writing to a senator are often fighting against something....how about working towards something. How about we show up and be with people and their stories. How about we seek to understand, truly, despite how vulnerable and uncomfortable we get?